like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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