this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Is it penis luge time yet?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize