I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Can I color on your dick again?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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