a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
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She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
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It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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