My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize