um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize