Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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