when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize