She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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