Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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