So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
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Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
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why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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