I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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