I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize