you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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