He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
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She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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