i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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