Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize