omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize