Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize