He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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