Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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