if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize