I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize