This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize