Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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