You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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