whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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