I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize