I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
are you so shy because you have an std?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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