are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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