I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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