How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I want you more than these girls want KFC
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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