We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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