never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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