My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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