JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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