she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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