Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
4 words: hood of his car
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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