Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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