8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
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