i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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