Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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