Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize