it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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