Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize