How'd it feel making her break her religion?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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