if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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