Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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