She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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