were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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